


windows to the soul

by shimmeron



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Crushes, First Meetings, M/M, Magic, Minor Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Liu Yangyang, Minor Lee Jeno/Zhong Chen Le, Minor Mark Lee/Na Jaemin, Park Jisung (NCT)-centric, Soulmates, Souls, jisung just thinks renjun is very cool, study dates as a plot device
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:14:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27836644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shimmeron/pseuds/shimmeron
Summary: “Nice to finally meet you, Jisung,” says Renjun, smiling.And for the first time, when Jisung looks into someone’s eyes, he sees absolutely nothing.-(in which jisung can see a person's soul when he looks into their eyes, but when he meets renjun, he sees nothing at all.maybe that’s okay though, because renjun’s eyes hold the promise of something so much more.)
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Park Jisung, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Park Jisung & Zhong Chen Le
Comments: 25
Kudos: 147
Collections: Challenge #3 — soulmates





	windows to the soul

**Author's Note:**

> hello!! this is the first time i've written something in like.... half a year. oh wow. i’m just really happy that i managed to finish this fic ahh
> 
> thank u to Little Wonder for running this challenge <33

On a grey-washed day with the clouds wrapped around the sun, Jisung sees souls for the first time—and to his amazement, they’re dancing.

At least, to five year old Jisung, they _look_ like they’re dancing, swaying to a rhythm that he can’t hear.

Without looking too closely, they almost look like one entity, but there’s a distinct shimmer where the edges of the two souls kiss. They hang closely above the heads of two women whose muted laughter carries over the expanse of the playground, and when the women take each other’s hands, Jisung thinks that the souls glow a tad brighter, their warmth cutting through the bitter cold of February.

He doesn’t realize he’s drifted into thought until his mother gently squeezes his hand. “Everything okay?” She asks, glancing over to the spot he’s been staring at.

“Did you see that, mom?” Jisung says _that_ because he doesn’t really know what he’s just seen. He rambles about it until realization visibly dawns on his mother, her eyes going slightly wide.

The next day, Jisung’s grandmother visits, armed with answers to some of his most pressing questions. Every time she stops by, she brings chocolate, and despite the circumstances of this particular visit, she doesn’t fail to arrive with a hefty pile of sweets in her purse. Jisung happily munches on them as his grandmother explains that he can see people’s souls. If he were to look into their eyes, he’d be able to see their lives throughout time.

It’s an ability that runs in his blood and expresses itself during early childhood; it skips generations—the last person who could See had been his great-grandmother—and it bears weight that Jisung doesn’t fully understand just yet.

“By being able to See, you can connect two souls that might fit perfectly together.” At his grandmother’s serious tone, Jisung straightens his back and nods solemnly. The corners of her lips turn up in a smile after seeing his reaction. “My mother found joy in bringing a unique happiness to the people around her. In fact, she was one of the first people to encourage me to marry your grandfather,” she says wistfully, as if recalling that day, and Jisung’s ears perk up in interest. “When you meet some people, it feels too much like fate to be a coincidence.”

**____________________________**

In the early years of learning to live with this development, Jisung has little control over when he sees souls. Sometimes their physical manifestations glimmer in the corner of his eye when he’s walking home from school or swinging from playground equipment at the park. But over time, just like his grandmother had said, souls become confined within people’s eyes in the form of untold stories, and Jisung finds that he has an innate ability to read them. A gut feeling of just knowing, _this girl has seen the frontlines of war before,_ or _this person is living their first life._

Even though he doesn’t tell anyone, children are oddly perceptive. His classmates seem to be able to sense that something is unusual about Jisung, and they treat him accordingly; they leave him out of games and never make an effort to converse, which is okay with him, really.

But the year Jisung turns eleven, Zhong Chenle enrolls in his school—Chenle who walks into the classroom and meets Jisung’s gaze, head held high like the prince Jisung instinctively knows he was in another life, before crossing the room to take the perpetually empty seat beside Jisung. “I’m Chenle,” he greets with a grin, seemingly unaware of how the other kids are peeking over at them. Jisung introduces himself quietly before disappearing back into his book. But the next day, Chenle sits beside him again, and then again, until days turn into weeks that become months. And just like that, Chenle slots himself into Jisung’s life.

Years roll past, and when Jisung turns fifteen, he tells Chenle about his secret. Chenle’s spending the night for Jisung’s birthday, and they’re laying on the floor when the words impulsively leave his mouth. Chenle turns his head and stares. “You’re serious?” Jisung nods, but Chenle doesn’t press the subject until hours later, after midnight’s passed and they’ve had their fill of cake. They’re laying on the ground again when Chenle pokes Jisung and asks, “What do you see when you look at me?”

And Jisung thinks back to the first day they met. “In one life, you were a crown prince.” Chenle listens with rapt attention. “In another, you were a music star. A child prodigy, really. You were invited to give a solo performance at the Golden Hall of Vienna when you were nine.”

A pause, and Jisung briefly wonders if Chenle thinks he’s making this up. He almost feels himself deflate, but then Chenle chuckles and rolls onto his back. “Wow, I’m really cool in every life, huh,” he breathes. “Is that all?” And Jisung talks into the early morning about stories he’s never dared to tell anyone before.

Jisung’s never seen his own soul. He’s tried, staring into the mirror without blinking for minutes on end, but it went without success. He thinks that if he could see his soul though, his and Chenle’s souls would look like two sides of the same coin—a friend that he matches unbelievably well with.

But when Jisung meets Jeno in high school, he understands what his grandmother meant about seeing two souls that could fit perfectly together, in a different way than his own might fit Chenle. A month later, when Chenle’s raving about Jeno’s smile and their latest date, Jisung feels the shift too.

After that, it becomes second nature to help souls gravitate to each other. Most of the time, he just leads souls together when they carry complimentary energy, and soulmates are made over time. It occurs before his eyes with Mark and Jaemin. And occasionally, Jisung comes across a pair of souls that hail from the same matter, split in two when the universe was created. _Fated soulmates,_ he calls them. When he first meets Donghyuck and Yangyang, he instantly recognizes it in them. It’s the same thing he saw all those years ago when he was five years old, standing in the park and clutching his mother’s hand.

It doesn’t feel quite right to think of Jisung as a matchmaker, especially when something as delicate as souls are involved. Besides, it doesn’t feel like it fits him. He doesn’t do anything more than give people a nudge in the right direction. Other people do all the heavy lifting; it’s commitment and effort, trust and understanding—hard work—that gives love meaning.

**____________________________**

Every now and then, Jisung reflects on how the years pass by, and it’s staggering each time. It feels like he blinks, and December has come once again, the temperature plummeting as the color of autumn fades.

 _Time is not real_ , he thinks, an elbow propped up beside his laptop where the cursor on the screen continues to blink at the end of the last sentence he typed, as if trying to grasp his attention. But his eyes remain glued to the scene outside, head resting in his palm as he traces shapes and figures, cars rolling past the glass windows of the storefront.

Today, Jisung’s favorite coffee shop on campus is busier than usual. Every five minutes brings along a new group of college students dipping inside and sighing in relief at the rush of warmth. The onslaught of traffic is likely the direct result of the upcoming week of finals, with people seeking a change of pace after growing restless inside libraries and their rooms.

Someone clears their throat on Jisung’s left, and he blinks twice. When he turns, he finds Jaemin grinning at him, holding a coffee that most likely isn’t his first of the day. “Whatcha looking at?” Jaemin asks as he slides into the booth across from Jisung.

“People,” Jisung says vaguely. “When’d you get here?”

“A few minutes ago. The others are on their way with Renjun, by the way. They’re almost here.” Jisung nods, the name familiar but not at the same time. “Man, I’m so excited you’re finally meeting Renjun, he’s the best—”

 _Renjun_ is a mutual friend. He’s friends with all of Jisung’s friends (which expands to about six people), but they’ve somehow passed months without ever meeting, their schedules almost laughingly out of sync. With the end of the semester approaching, they all have nothing to do but study for finals, so everyone’s cleared their time for a group study date.

From what Jisung’s been told, Renjun seems like a thoughtful person. Very gentle with his words but also incredibly witty. Any story of him from Chenle always manages to make Jisung laugh.

And if he’s being completely honest, Jisung might admit that he’s slightly infatuated with Renjun in a _I-think-you-are-very-cool_ kind of way.

He’s nervous to meet him. _What if they don’t get along? What if it causes the friend group to splinter in two, and their friends are forced to pick a side? What if—?_

“Jisungie, it’s so _cold_ today. Did you only wear that jacket?” Jaemin grumbles, cutting off Jisung’s line of thought.

“It’s not that cold,” Jisung refutes weakly, but Jaemin’s not listening.

“You’re going to get sick, and taking your finals while sick _isn’t_ the move. You should take care of your health. At least wear a scarf—”

“Hey, let Jisung breathe,” says Mark fondly as he materializes into view. Jaemin immediately scoots further into the booth, and Mark settles in beside him as the rest of their friends head their way.

“Just look at him though. It makes my heart hurt,” says Jaemin, frowning.

Chenle files into Jisung’s side of the booth, Jeno following close after him, while Yangyang exclaims, “Jisung, I feel like I haven’t seen you in weeks. Your classes are working you to the bone, huh?” He slides in next to Mark, prying off his gloves as he goes.

“Yeah, but they’re almost over,” says Jisung, smiling at Yangyang’s energy. It’s always so bright.

Yangyang grins, shooting him a thumbs up. “Love the optimism.”

“Where’s Donghyuck hyung? And Renjun hyung?” Jisung asks, glancing around once everyone seems to have sat down.

“Waiting for our orders,” comments Chenle. “Big line today, I’m surprised.”

“I guess the entire campus found out that Taeil hyung makes the best cookies,” Jeno jokes, to which Mark groans.

“Man, those cookies are the only things that keep me going some days. If people find out about them, they’ll run out, and then it’s over for me.”

Everyone else chimes in with laughter and agreement, the conversation carrying from there, but Jisung gradually tunes out, only half-listening.

It takes the sudden appearance of Donghyuck’s voice, calling for people to claim their drinks, for Jisung to fully snap to attention, his eyes darting over to the end of the table—and okay, _wow._

Jisung’s seen Renjun in pictures before, but Renjun is _very_ pretty in person.

It’s really a testament to how ethereal he is because, at first, Jisung doesn’t notice.

When it finally registers, Jisung freezes. He glances around, as if checking to see if someone’s pranking him, and promptly jams an elbow into Chenle’s side _._

Chenle inhales sharply, turning to Jisung with narrowed eyes, and Jisung confirms, _yes, he can still See._

Then he glances back at Renjun, and everything he knows to be true starts to rewrite itself.

“Renjun, meet Jisung. Jisung, Renjun,” says Chenle, rubbing his side.

“Nice to finally meet you, Jisung,” Renjun says, smiling. And for the first time, when Jisung looks into someone’s eyes, he sees absolutely nothing.

**____________________________**

After hours of deliberation, Jisung concludes that Renjun has no soul.

It seems ridiculous, but what other explanation is there? (“Maybe he’s a vampire,” Chenle suggests. Jisung ignores him.)

He’s never met someone without a soul before. He’s intrigued, and he finds his thoughts wandering to Renjun several times a day. 

(Jisung isn’t a fool though. He knows that Renjun’s on his mind for multiple reasons because c’mon. Renjun’s pretty. And cool. And _very pretty_.)

Despite having no soul, Renjun is as thoughtful, gentle, and witty as Jisung had thought he’d be. At the end of their group study date, Renjun singles Jisung out and asks for his number, mentioning that they should hang out again. It takes ten minutes for Jisung’s heart rate to calm down, and Chenle teases him endlessly for his red ears.

Later in the day, Jisung’s rewatching biology lectures when his phone lights up with a text.

**XXX-XXX-XXXX**

_hey jisung, it’s renjun ^__^_

_just realized i never texted you lol_

_but yea this is my number, feel free to save it so you have it *_*_

The information that Renjun uses text emoticons makes Jisung want to put his head through the wall. It's too cute.

_hey hyung! what’s up?_

A typing bubble pops up immediately after he sends the text, and Jisung suddenly notices that his face has split into a smile at some point.

**renjun hyung**

_studying~ taking a quick break rn for the sake of my sanity_

_wbu?_

Jisung pauses his lecture.

_ahh same here_

_taking a break from bio lectures_

**renjun hyung**

_bio 201?_

_whoa yeah_

_how’d u know??_

**renjun hyung**

_took that my freshman year!_

Their conversation continues as texts fly back and forth, and Jisung abandons his laptop, focusing fully on the thread of messages.

**renjun hyung**

_okayyy should prob get back to studying now (and you should too!)_

Jisung’s about to respond when another text comes through.

**renjun hyung**

_i meant it when i said we should hang out again some time! you wanna study at the library tomorrow? then we can go for food?_

His heart stops. Is this a date? Or are they hanging out as friends?

But then he realizes he doesn’t really care. He’s spending time with Renjun either way.

Jisung shoots back a _yes_.

**____________________________**

_Renjun is special,_ Jisung thinks. _And not just because he doesn’t have a soul._

The week before finals passes in a blur of study dates _—_ some with Chenle, others with Jaemin, but most of them with Renjun.

Each one follows the same pattern; they spend hours in the library and then grab dinner afterwards. Jisung learns that Renjun loves hotpot, and despite being a poor college student, Jisung’s tempted to fund Renjun’s hotpot budget for life, just to watch the way the other’s face lights up when he sees the spread of food.

 _Whipped,_ a voice that sounds exactly like Chenle says in his head, to which Jisung has to say, _and what about it?_

It’s unreal how close they become in the span of just one week. Jisung’s never met anyone who seems to be on the same frequency as him like this, not even Chenle. He realizes this when he mentions _Interstellar_ one evening, when he’s back in his dorm after spending the day with (you guessed it) Renjun, which dissolves into a two hour long phone call about space and then transitions into another hour long conversation about extraterrestrial life.

The week ends with Jisung feeling like he’s in a daze, but on the bright side, with all his studying, he’s more than ready to take on his finals.

(Renjun texts him good luck before each final.

Jisung aces every last one.)

**____________________________**

The next thing he knows, the semester’s ended, and Jisung’s back home, pulling a suitcase out of his father’s car.

He’s once again reminded that time is relentless as December also slips past him, and the holidays rapidly approach. He stays in contact with his friends, but he’s surprised that the frequency of phone calls and messages with Renjun increases each day, despite the hundreds of miles between them now. It’s a pleasant surprise though, one that brings a smile to Jisung’s face.

His grandmother visits on Christmas Eve, unloading a large amount of chocolate at the front door when she arrives. His older brother laughs at the sight while Jisung’s mother complains (“Mom, they don’t need candy, they’re not kids anymore—” “They’re 18 and 21, of course they’re kids.”), and Jisung thinks that time is persistent, but some things never change.

He leads his grandmother to their tree at her request, and as she places her presents underneath, she asks, “How are you, Jisung?”

There’s something about the weight of her gaze that draws a memory out of Jisung’s head, and he’s instantly compelled to ask about it.

 _Weeks_ have passed, but the question continues to linger in the back of his mind. “I met someone last semester,” he starts, and she peers at him curiously. “And when I looked into his eyes, I couldn’t See.” She arches an eyebrow. Jisung falters. “I didn’t see his soul. Does that mean he doesn’t have one?”

“He has one,” she replies, eyes twinkling. “Jisung, when you look in the mirror into your own eyes, what do you see?”

“I don’t see anything—” _Oh._

She laughs as realization dawns on him.

Fated soulmates, a pair of souls from the same entity, split in two when the universe was created.

It makes sense that Jisung can’t see Renjun’s soul, if they happen to share pieces of the same soul. Which seems to be the only plausible explanation, considering the fact that Renjun _definitely_ has to have a soul.

(Wow, this makes so much more sense than Renjun being a vampire. But thank you for that input, Chenle.)

When midnight strikes, Renjun texts him _merry christmas,_ along with a playlist that Jisung listens to immediately. Jisung sends back a playlist of his own, as well as a list of space documentary recommendations he’s been compiling since early December.

As Renjun’s messages pour in with palpable excitement, Jisung feels so _grateful_ that he gets to know and love Renjun, as a friend today and perhaps something more tomorrow. It feels far too much like fate.

**Author's Note:**

> my mind is already thinking about a spin-off ohhhh god
> 
> anyways, fun fact (about this au): renjun also thinks jisung is Very Cool before they meet
> 
> fun fact #2: chenle really did perform at the golden hall of vienna when he was 9!!!! (i just think chenle’s life before nct dream is unreal, he’s so cool)
> 
> also, this fic isn’t about chenji, but i do think those two are some kind of soulmates. like they’re meant to be in each other’s lives (this is probably why a large portion of this fic is dedicated to their friendship lmao)
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/sungieberry)  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.me/sungieberry)
> 
> please leave kudos and lend me ur thoughts in the comments in exchange for my heart <3


End file.
